It’s a tricky thing: that push-and-pull dynamic with the job you’ve worked so hard for. Some days, it feels like you’re on top of the world—smashing deadlines, impressing clients, proud of where you are and what you’ve achieved. Other days? It’s a relentless swirl of emails, stress, and that nagging thought: Is this really what I want?
I’ve been there. For 23 years, I climbed the corporate ladder with determination. I travelled the world, led amazing projects, and met brilliant people. My career brought moments of real joy, purpose, and connection.
But it also brought stress—chronic, gnawing stress that became so normal I barely noticed it any more. I was caught in the cycle of perfectionism and unrelenting drive. It was exhausting, and no matter what I achieved, it never felt like enough.
For years, I pushed through, telling myself it was worth it. After all, my career gave me so much. It took me to new places, introduced me to incredible people, and offered challenges that helped me grow. But at the same time, it took its toll. Long hours, constant pressure, and the weight of my own expectations chipped away at my health and happiness.
In 2020, my love-hate relationship with work came to a head. Burnout brought me to my knees—physically, emotionally, and mentally. It was a turning point I didn’t ask for but desperately needed.
The Career Reality
Careers are often painted as linear stories of progression and passion. Climb the ladder, achieve the goals, and bask in the glow of success. But the reality is messier. The very thing you love can also be the thing that drains you.
~ You love the challenge, but hate the relentless pace.
~ You love the responsibility, but hate the constant overthinking.
~ You love the sense of purpose, but hate how it overshadows other parts of your life.
~ You love your job some days, other days you hate it.
Breaking the Cycle
For me, burnout was the wake-up call I didn’t know I needed. It forced me to step back, take stock, and reassess my relationship with work. I realised that loving your career shouldn’t mean sacrificing your health, relationships, or sense of self. And hating parts of it doesn’t mean you’re failing or ungrateful. It means you’re human.
We’ve been sold the idea that passion for your work means constant hustle, saying yes to everything, and never letting anyone see you struggle. But passion for work can be about balance, about setting boundaries, about valuing rest, and working in a way that supports the life you want—not the one stress dictates.
It’s not easy to break free from the cycle, especially when stress and overwork feel like badges of honour. But I’ve learned that even small shifts can make a world of difference.
A New Way Forward
I’ve learned that careers need boundaries for a happy life. Here’s some tips for redefining your relationship with your career:
Redefine Success
Success isn’t just about climbing higher or earning more. It’s about finding a way to thrive in your work and your life. For me, that meant letting go of perfectionism and embracing the idea that good enough is, in fact, enough. Not easy to let go of perfectionism and it’s something I still work on.
Set Boundaries
Learning to say no was a game-changer. No to unnecessary meetings, no to more work when I could hardly manage what I had, and no to the idea that my worth was tied to my output. And I discovered that people respect your no if you say it in the right way.
Prioritise Wellbeing
Rest isn’t a reward—it’s a necessity. Whether it’s yoga, walking, or simply stepping away from the laptop at a reasonable hour, prioritising your health fuels better performance and a happier life.
Reconnect With Your ‘Why’
It’s easy to lose sight of why you started in the first place. Take time to reflect on what drew you to your work and what still excites you about it, and find things at work that enable you to focus on that.
Find Joy Outside of Work
Hobbies, relationships, and downtime matter. They remind you that your career is just one part of your identity, not the whole story.
You Deserve Better
If you’re stuck in the love-hate loop, know this: it’s not about walking away from what you’ve built. It’s about building it differently, with you in the centre.
Take it from someone who’s been there: you don’t have to choose between loving your job and loving your life. It’s possible to have both, but only if you’re willing to challenge the status quo and put yourself first, before everything else.
Start small. Take one step today to prioritise your wellbeing. Whether it’s taking a proper lunch break every day, shutting your laptop at 6 PM, or saying no to that extra project, it’s these moments that start the shift.
You deserve a career that supports your life, not one that takes it over.
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